


Spa Day

by Nomme_dePlume



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Eavesdropping, Explicit Language, Humor, M/M, Meet-Cute, Sexting, nail salon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-27
Updated: 2019-11-10
Packaged: 2021-01-13 18:10:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21198719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nomme_dePlume/pseuds/Nomme_dePlume
Summary: Naruto’s eyes widen in shock as he comprehends what they’re asking. “Okay, so, you want me to go with you and, what? Translate?”Ino shrugs. “Kinda. We just want you to, you know, listen in on what they’re saying and tell us later?”“Like a bad sitcom?” he asks incredulously. “That is insane.”





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I had absolutely no reason to write this except that I wanted to. Purely self-indulgent. But I hope you enjoy this anyway! (And, no promises, but I could easily see expanding this universe.)
> 
> _"Text"_ = Japanese dialogue

“Happy birthday, Naruto!” Ino and Sakura say together as Ino hands him an envelope. It’s card-shaped, orange, and sort of heavy, and there’s a particularly bulky part that indicates that there’s something inside the card.

Expecting the usual gift card to his favorite restaurant, Naruto smiles and thanks them as he opens it. On the front of the card is a kitten, crouched in a stalking position, and the words _A birthday is like a cat…_, and when he opens it, it finishes _You wake up one morning and it’s in your face_ with a close up of the kitten’s face. With a chuckle he turns his attention to the gift card, an eyebrow raising when, instead of the normal restaurant, the name of an upscale nail salon stares back at him.

“Uh, what’s this?” he asks as he looks up at the girls.

“What?” Ino scowls. “You got a problem with it?”

Naruto shakes his head quickly. “No – it’s not that I’m not grateful. But why a nail salon?”

He looks down at the gift card again. He’s never seen a gift card to a nail salon before – doesn’t know what they should look like – but this one is a matte black with elegant glossy black lettering. He has to twist it slightly to catch the light to clearly read the _Uchiha Nails and Spa_. There’s a little symbol in red and white underneath the lettering, and he recognizes it as an _uchiwa_ – which makes sense, he guesses.

“Well, we just thought it’d be nice for you to be pampered a bit,” Sakura says, and he looks at them again. “Even buff blonds like you can enjoy a mani-pedi.”

Naruto looks down at his hands, at his blunt nails – none cracked and all fairly the same length. But a quick look at Ino and Sakura’s nails clearly shows the difference between their upkeep and his. He’s still a bit suspicious, but he wants to avoid being hit by either of the two women, so he nods his head. “Well, thanks.”

“Actually, Sakura and I will be going this weekend,” Ino says. “Come with us.”

“Yeah, come with us!” Sakura echoes, but her enthusiasm gives her away, because Sakura is never this excited to have Naruto join them on a girls’ day. Hell, they’ve never invited him to a girls’ day before.

Naruto crosses his arms and stares them down, which should be as intimidating as hell, because he’s six-foot-two and is, frankly, a wall of solid muscle. And maybe they are intimidated, or maybe it’s because they just aren’t that great at lying, but they finally give in.

“Fine!” Sakura sighs explosively. “There are these insanely hot guys that work there, but like, they’re really hard to approach?”

Ino nods. “Yeah, and we’ve tried to learn some things about them in order to, you know, break the ice, but they’re really tight lipped and really only talk to each other. In Japanese.”

Naruto’s eyes widen in shock as he comprehends what they’re asking. “Okay, so, you want me to go with you and, what? Translate?”

Ino shrugs. “Kinda. We just want you to, you know, listen in on what they’re saying and tell us later?”

“Like a bad sitcom?” he asks incredulously. “That is insane.”

“No, but listen, Naruto!” Sakura says, her hands up in a placating manner. “You’re the only one who we can ask! You speak Japanese fluently! You won’t have to do anything but sit there and gather intel.”

He rolls his eyes as he huffs out a laugh. So, yeah, he speaks Japanese because his paternal grandparents, who came with them to the US, refuse to speak English around him – something about keeping him connected to his roots. But somehow the thought that he’d ever use his bilingual-ness in this manner has never crossed his mind.

He looks back down at the gift card. To tell the truth, he has never once thought of going to one of these places, never had a reason, and without some sort of prompting, he’d probably never use this gift the girls have given him. So, in order not to seem ungrateful…

“Fine,” he says, and the girls are all smiles and laughter. They crowd him and hug him, pressing giggly kisses to his face, and he pushes them away as he laughs. “Just let me know when.”

They agree and take their leave, and he’s left wondering how his day at the salon will go.

~*~

He’s leaning against the wall between the salon and a Korean restaurant, watching cars pass on the road parallel to the strip mall. He’d met the girls at the appointed time, but they’d asked him to wait a few minutes before going in so that it wouldn’t look like they were together. Naruto laughs at the situation. Girls are so strange.

But he would do anything for a friend, so he waits ten minutes before pushing off the wall and strolling into the nail salon. A bell above the door chimes as he enters, and when he looks around the place, his eyes widen at the elegant opulence – understated and obvious at the same time, with gold accents and art, of all things. The space is large, with a fountain in the middle, and at the front and to either side are the tables where several men and women are currently bent over the bejeweled hands of wealthy-looking women with designer jeans and handbags. 

This place is _expensive_, and Naruto wonders if there’s enough on the gift card to cover the cost.

The tables give way to large, leather chairs lining either wall, large basins of lit water below those that are occupied. He spots Sakura and Ino and shakes his head when they both look at him and then quickly look away.

“Good afternoon, sir,” he hears, and he turns to his left to see a woman smiling at him. She’s thin and pale with long black hair and smiling black eyes, the corners of which are crinkled with just a touch of age but probably more from many years of joy – gorgeous. Naruto recognizes the look; his mother has the same wrinkles – brought on by years of laughter.

“Uh, hi, there,” he says, slightly embarrassed.

“My name’s Mikoto. Welcome to Uchiha Nails and Spa. What can we do for you today?” She slides a laminated menu of services toward him, and he steps closer to look at the options.

“Hi, Mikoto,” he says as his eyes read over the tiers of pedicures. He’d decided before coming that he could probably do a pedicure – get his feet massaged and everything – without getting much gruff later from his friends. He looks up and smiles at her. “My name’s Naruto.”

Her hand comes up to stifle a giggle. “Is it really?”

Naruto knows why she’s laughing, and he laughs with her. He was, after all, named for a hero in one of his grandfather’s novels… which had been inspired by a fishcake he’d been eating at the time.

“Well, Naruto, what would you like today?”

He glances at the options again. “May I get the deluxe pedicure?”

Mikoto’s smile widens. “Of course, you may, hun.” She nods at the wall of colors behind him. “If you’d like a nail color, go ahead and pick one. We’ll get your chair prepared.”

Naruto laughs awkwardly. “No, that’s all right.” He isn’t going to go that far for the girls. Mikoto laughs with him – maybe at him, who knows – and leads him to (thankfully) the free chair next to Sakura. A tall man – not as tall as Naruto, though – is already at the chair filling the basin with water, his long hair tied back in a tail that is slithering over his shoulder.

“This is Itachi, my eldest,” Mikoto says with a smile and a hand on Itachi’s back. She’s looking at him with pride, and Naruto knows he’s looking at a very close family with the way Itachi smiles back softly. Well, that’s good. Naruto always likes to see happy families, like his – it’s heart-warming.

He sits in his chair, shucking his slip-on Vans to the side and then slipping his feet into the warm water, watching as the light in the water changes from blue to green. “Hi, Itachi. I’m Naruto.” He pulls his phone out of his back pocket and leans back in the chair. Mikoto reaches next to him and picks up the remote to his chair and turns on the massage function.

“Would you like something to drink?” Mikoto asks.

“Uh, water would be great,” he says, and she slips away to the mini fridge at the front of the shop. His eyes slip over to the two men already working on Ino and Sakura’s feet before looking back up at Itachi as the man sits down on a rolling stool in front of him.

“It’s nice to meet you, Naruto,” Itachi says as he puts his fingers in the water and then shuts off the faucet. He gently lifts Naruto’s right foot and sets it on the cushion above the basin.

It’s Naruto’s nature to make small talk, and he wants to engage Itachi in conversation. He’s got questions, like how long Itachi had been working with his mom and if he likes working in the salon, but he can’t be distracted from any conversation that happens between the men, or Sakura and Ino will have his balls – in the un-fun way.

So, he unlocks his phone and brings up one of his games, lowering the volume so as not to bother anyone with the noise. Mikoto brings him water, and then he finds his attention pulled in so many directions – trying to play his game, listening to the conversations (all in English so far) going on around him, and trying not to jump or flinch or giggle as Itachi works on his feet.

Ultimately, his little character dies, and since he’s almost out of battery, he locks his phone and pays more attention to the things going on around him. And he uses the opportunity to take in the guys that are carefully tending to Ino and Sakura’s feet.

The guy working on Ino is thin and pale – as are most of the workers in the salon – with short, black hair. He looks extremely non-descript – good looking but not exactly a hottie, in Naruto’s opinion – and there’s something off about the smile he gives Ino from time to time. The guy next to him, though, the one working on Sakura – damn, he’s fine. Like, a complete ten, and he has to be a close relative of Mikoto’s with those cheekbones. He’s thin and pale like the other, but he’s got muscle definition that the other hasn’t. And his hair is _emo chic_ or something, with the way the eartails frame his face and hang nearly to his collarbone, but the back is cut short and sticking out like spikes.

Naruto tries not to stare and does ultimately succeed in forcing his gaze away as it tries to trail down the guy’s chest and toward his crotch. He focuses in on what Itachi is doing, which is drying off his foot before reaching for a small container of some sort of scrub.

_“So, are you joining Sasuke and me tonight, Itachi?”_ the guy working on Ino asks in Japanese, and Naruto keeps himself from reacting, though he can see Sakura make some sort of aborted movement from the corner of his eye.

_“I never said I was going anywhere with you, Sai,”_ the other guy says, whom Naruto assumes is Sasuke.

_“And why not, little brother?”_ Itachi asks, a smile tugging at his lips. _“You could invite the nice girl you’re working on. She’s been casting you some flirtatious glances this whole time. And during her previous visits.”_

The guy named Sai snorts. _“Like Sasuke would go anywhere with a girl. That guy you’re working on, though…”_

Sai trails off, and Naruto can feel all three men looking at him as he stares blankly at the TV on the opposite wall. He hadn’t thought it would be this hard not to react to what he would hear. But if what Sai is implying about Sasuke is true…

Naruto tries very hard not to think about Sasuke and sex – sex with _him_, in particular.

_“Just look at his feet, Sasuke. What is it that they say about men with big feet?”_ Sai laughs as Sasuke clicks his tongue.

_“So what if he has a big dick? Look at the rest of him – blond and buff. Probably brainless, too. Not my type, thank you.”_

_“He’s so your type, little brother. Sure, he’s not the type you’ve brought home to Mother and Father, but don’t think we don’t know about the random hookups.”_

Sasuke clicks his tongue again, and Naruto keeps himself from frowning. It’s not like he’s against one-night stands or whatever, but he doesn’t like the thought of being a dirty secret or something. He’s not brainless, either.

_“Ah, but I think the random hookups say more about what Sasuke’s looking for in a partner than anything,”_ Sai says, and Naruto looks down in time to catch a vicious scowl overcome Sasuke’s face.

“What color did you want on your toes?” Sasuke asks Sakura, and the rapid switch from Japanese to English throws Naruto off slightly.

“Oh,” Sakura jumps, and Naruto takes the chance of looking over at her. She’s blushing hard at having Sasuke’s attention. She grabs a bottle of polish next to her and hands it over. Naruto starts to wonder how to break it to her that the massive crush she has on him is useless.

_“You’re avoiding the conversation, little brother.”_

_“I’m trying to work,”_ Sasuke bites out under his breath as he sets Sakura’s polish aside and grabs a bottle of cuticle oil.

_“And we’re trying to find your Prince Charming,”_ Sai is quick to answer. _“And I’m just saying to start with Mr. Tiny Dick here.”_ He pauses before adding, _“That’s what they say about men with big feet, right? That they have small dicks?”_

_“Boys!”_ Mikoto says as she sweeps by. _“Stop talking about dicks in front of the customers!”_

Naruto hides a snort of laughter with a fake sneeze.

_“Aunt Mikoto, we’re just trying to determine if this guy here is good enough for little Sasuke,”_ Sai says cheerfully.

Mikoto looks at him and then down at them. _“You want to date him, Sasuke?”_

_“No!”_ Sasuke says, but there’s something in his voice that jerks Naruto’s attention right to him, and their eyes meet. Naruto can see the blush staining Sasuke’s cheeks before the man bows his head to let his hair fall in his face. Ino and Sakura are blatantly staring between him and Sasuke, and Naruto can’t help but grin.

It comes to him then, the type of person this Sasuke is – _tsundere_: tough on the outside, soft on the inside. Maybe Sasuke has been interested from the start, whether for a one-night stand or an actual date, but he can’t handle the teasing. Whatever – Naruto shouldn’t judge without even knowing the guy. But he _wants_ to know him. He’s fine as hell and probably feisty (a wildcat in bed, hopefully) – just how Naruto likes them.

He makes up his mind to ask Sasuke out before he leaves. Now, how to break it to Sakura…

His phone vibrates, and he looks down to find a text from Sakura screaming at him in all caps: WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED?!

Naruto winces the slightest bit, but this is what they had wanted him to do, so they can’t blame him that it turned out this way. Hopefully.

Ur barking up the wrong tree Sak, he sends. And then to her request for clarification, he adds, Dude is n2 dudes.

He sees Sakura show Ino her phone from the corner of his eye, and then he’s getting a text from Ino: You’re gonna have to tell us the whole story. Lunch?

Sure, he sends, and then he pockets his phone. He looks back up at the TV, waiting to see if the silence will be broken, but it’s not. Sasuke and Sai both get up and head to the back, but they come back quickly with bags of purple wax.

Naruto watches as they wrap Ino and Sakura’s feet in the bags, wondering how that feels. Then Sasuke and Sai step over to the front counter where Mikoto is typing away at the computer, and they don’t come back before Itachi stands and says, “You’re all set.” 

Naruto thanks him and slips on his shoes as he stands, then makes his way over to the counter. Mikoto smiles and tells him the total, and he pulls the gift card from his wallet. Itachi, Sai, and Sasuke are close by, not saying anything, but Naruto can feel their eyes on him. He smiles as Mikoto hands him the receipt and the card back.

He grabs a pen and quickly jots his phone number down on the back of the receipt, then pulls some cash out of his wallet after putting the card back. He steps over to the three men.

“Hey, Itachi. Thanks again. That was my first pedicure, and it wasn’t bad at all!” He reaches out to shake Itachi’s hand, the cash cupped in his palm to easily slide into Itachi’s – an old trick his grandmother had taught him. 

“Glad to hear,” Itachi says with a smirk. “I hope we’ll see you back here soon.” His eyes cut to Sasuke.

Naruto laughs and slides his receipt into his palm. “I think I might. Gotta use the rest of my gift card, after all.” Then, before he can think better of it, he quickly catches Sasuke’s hand and leans in so that Mikoto can’t catch his next words. “And Sasuke, feel free to check out how big my dick is anytime.”

He lets go of Sasuke’s hand, his receipt left behind in the other’s palm, and he laughs at the stunned expressions on all three of their faces as he turns to leave.

Still laughing, he exits, the bell tinkling overhead as the door opens. He pulls out his phone again to search for a good restaurant for lunch, hoping the girls won’t be too much longer, and wonders how long it’ll take his _tsundere-kun_ to give him a call.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I decided to continue this universe. Mostly because it's easy and doesn't have the finer details of my other fics. LOL Thanks for all the kudos and comments on the first part, and I hope you like the continuation!

Sasuke leans back against the picnic table, his arms stretched out to either side, and lifts his face to the sun. It’s a very sunny, if cold, day, and he appreciates some time away from the salon. And his brother; though that isn’t something he can savor much since Sai sits next to him, drawing in one of his sketchpads. Suigetsu and Juugo are on the other side of the table, talking about some new brand of artisan water that Suigetsu can’t get at his local store, and Karin is sitting on top of the table, her crossed legs bumping against one of his arms.

It’s a day for him to just forget about his life for a minute – how unmotivated he is to do anything with his recently acquired degree; how Uncle Obito’s upcoming marriage in Japan is taking most of his aunts’ attention, increasing his workload at the salon; how Itachi and Sai just _would not stop_ talking about-

“Mr. Tiny Dick,” Sai says next to him and causes Sasuke to snap his head down and his eyes open. They all turn their attention to Sai, and he uses his pencil to point over at the basketball court. “That’s him, right?”

Sasuke looks in that direction, and sure enough, there is the tall blond man from a couple of weeks ago playing a game of two on two. Shirts and skins, apparently, and he can’t help the way his eyes are drawn to a broad expanse of tan back, his thoughts torn between wondering if the man is cold and what it would feel like to touch all that muscle he can see flexing with each movement.

He scowls at his own thoughts and looks away. Suigetsu whistles and says, “What a snack.”

“What did you call him?” Juugo asks, and Sai repeats his inane nickname for the man and proceeds to tell them the whole story about how they’d been talking about a random customer in regard to Sasuke’s sex life, who just happened to speak Japanese and _understood_ every word, then propositioned Sasuke on his way out. 

Suigetsu cackles as he bangs his hand against the table, and even Juugo is chuckling under his breath. Karin is uncommonly quiet, and Sasuke glances over his shoulder at her. She’s still looking at the basketball court, and the look on her face can only be described as partly amused and partly disgusted, which is an odd combination since Karin has never been shy about talking about dicks with the rest of them.

When Suigetsu calms down, he asks, “Do you think he really has a small dick? That’d be a deal breaker for me.”

Karin finally joins the discussion with a disgusted click of her tongue and says, “Unfortunately, I’ve seen the dick in question more times than I care to remember, but I can assure you it is not small.”

They all turn their attention to Karin, and Sasuke can only imagine that they’re all as surprised as he is, which he makes apparent when he asks incredulously, “You’ve slept with him?”

“Ew, gross!” she says, kicking at Sasuke’s arm. He pulls it away with a scowl and turns around to face the table properly. “That’s my brother, you retard.”

There is stunned silence all around. They’ve all known Karin since she moved to the US as a child, and they’ve never once heard about a brother. Of course, they’ve never met Karin’s family – she’s never talked about them, and none of them have ever thought to ask.

“How come you’ve never told us about this brother before, you secretive bitch?” Suigetsu snaps, though it’s all in good fun. That’s just their relationship. “Especially if he’s that hot.”

Karin shrugs. “It’s never come up.” She pauses, like she’s trying to decide if she should say anything more, and she finally does. “He’s not like, a real brother. He’s technically my cousin. But when my mom died, his family took me in and raised us like siblings. And then we all moved here.”

“Still,” Suigetsu pesters, “We’ve known you for _years_. How has this never come up?”

“I’m sure Karin had her reasons,” Juugo mediates, and they’re quiet for a moment.

“So, Naruto hit you up?” Karin asks, bringing the conversation back around.

Sasuke clicks his tongue in disgust – but only at the fact that he has to relive that mortifying scene. Because, _yes_, this Naruto is exactly the type that he’d ride to oblivion and back – would love to feel all that hulking muscle put to use and make him stupid with pleasure; but all the teasing he’d get from his brother and cousin and even now his _mother_ makes the thought less than pleasant.

“Have you fucked him?” Suigetsu asks as a follow up.

“No,” he says quickly.

“You should, and report back. If he’s a good lay, I’d like a go at him.” Sasuke glares at Suigetsu, though he doesn’t know why.

“Naruto wouldn’t touch you with a ten-foot pole,” Karin says, which starts one of their barbed spats, and Sasuke tunes them out. His gaze wanders back to the basketball court, and _Naruto_, as he’s apparently called, is executing a graceful layup, for which he receives a high-five from his teammate. 

Not that he didn’t know the blond’s name. Along with a scrawled phone number, he’d been provided a name, and as much as he tries not to think about the incident, he’s been able to do nothing _but_. He’s not a stranger to good-looking men, so he doesn’t really know why he keeps thinking about him. 

Sasuke scoffs internally. Why he continues to lie to himself, he doesn’t know.

Itachi had been right – Naruto is his type. But it shames him that he likes that type. His entire family was so accepting when he finally came out, but he _knows_ that there must be some measure of disappointment. So, the least he can do is bring home a nice boy that can fit seamlessly into the Uchiha family – smart, well-kempt, polite, and big into close-knit families. It just never works out. Because that isn’t his type.

Itachi and Sai try – in their own ways – to convince him that bringing home someone he really likes, regardless of appearances, will not be the catastrophe he envisions, but he hasn’t let himself believe that. So, one-night stands and subterfuge it will continue to be.

Sai’s phone rings, pulling Sasuke from his musings.

_“Hello,”_ Sai says in Japanese, indicating it’s one of their relatives. _“At the park; we’re not on shift today.”_ Sasuke watches Sai’s face scrunch slightly in annoyance. _“All right, I’ll be right there.”_ He hangs up and sighs loudly. “One of my regulars chipped a nail and wants it fixed ASAP. The things I do for money.”

“Sounds like a you-problem,” Suigetsu says, and Sai flips him off. Sasuke stands up, and Suigetsu asks him where he’s going.

“Reached my sunlight quota for the day,” he says and follows Sai to the parking lot.

If he glances one more time at the basketball court, that’s his business.

~*~

The slip of paper stares at him innocently, and yet mockingly. But that’s probably Sasuke’s fault for fishing it out of his trashcan in the first place. It was the first thing he did upon arriving home, his eyes tracing over the lines of a name and a phone number scribbled on the back of a receipt. He’d sat it down on his desk and left the room for dinner – had even managed to forget about it as he listened to his mother go over the details of Obito’s wedding and their travel arrangements to attend. But now, returned to his room, he’s faced with a slip of paper and a gnawing _want_ in the pit of his stomach.

But is it smart to want anything with Naruto, even if it’s just sex? Regardless of the nature of a potential relationship with the man, it would be significantly more public than his previous hookups because now – thanks to Sai – everybody and their mothers (his included) know that sex has been offered.

With a scowl, he grabs his phone and flops down on his bed, opening his messaging app to go to his conversation with Karin.

_Don’t read too much into this, and for the love of God, don’t mention this to Suigetsu or anyone else for that matter. But… what can you tell me about Naruto?_

Karin’s reply isn’t immediate, but it’s not long in coming either.

_That’s a little vague. I can tell you a shit ton. Like what he went as on Halloween from the ages of six to twenty-four. And yes, he still dresses up on Halloween. He says it’s like gay Christmas or something._

Sasuke snorts. He’s not sure what that means, having never heard the like, but that’s not unusual. Gay he may be, but he’s not particularly attuned to gay culture. But it does let him know that Naruto likes Halloween, and that he’s twenty-four, two years older than Sasuke and Karin.

_So what do you want to know?_

Sasuke thinks a bit about that question – what _does_ he want to know? – but he doesn’t respond quickly enough for Karin.

_Like, if you’re just going to fuck him and move on, do you really need to know stuff about him? He’s down for a one-night stand, I think, if that’s what you’re looking for._

But that’s the problem. He doesn’t know what he’s looking for. Two weeks ago, a rough fuck would have been fine. But then… Then he’d made _eye contact_ with a man who is his physical type and… He doesn’t know what happened. Crystal blue eyes had looked right at him, an interest – a heat – passed between them, he’s sure, and it has devolved into a strange longing he’s never felt before. Which makes him vulnerable.

Which makes him uncomfortable. But, apparently, not enough to completely toss thoughts of Naruto aside once and for all, as he usually does with topics that make him uncomfortable.

His phone pings again, and he looks down at Karin’s message.

_Look, if Naruto gave you his number, he’s interested in something. And if you’re interested in something back, you should contact him._

Sasuke rolls his eyes. That’s not even a question at this point. He’s definitely interested in something. The question is whether it’s worth the effort and everything else to go for it.

He pictures Naruto on the basketball court – the way his back muscles moved and how he could _palm_ the ball. He’s just all around _big_, and Sasuke can think of a lot of things he’d let a big man like Naruto do to him.

He clicks his tongue, decision made, and reaches for the slip of paper on his desk. He holds it in his left hand while he enters the information under _Orokana Burondo_ in his contacts, chuckling in amusement even as his stomach flutters when his thumb hovers over the message icon. He presses his lips together and touches it, watching as a new conversation opens and awaits his first message.

Usuratonkachi, he sends, wondering just how much Naruto really knows. He stares at the screen, watching for any indication that Naruto has seen the message, watching for the ‘delivered’ to change to ‘read,’ and seeing nothing after a minute. He moves to toss his phone away, not going to sit and pine or whatever shit they call it until Naruto is by his phone, but he’s surprised by a new message coming through.

_Talking bout me in general, or r u still tryna guess the size of my dick?_

Sasuke bites down on a snicker, impressed despite himself. Only someone who really knows the language would know the literal meaning versus the slang meaning, though he’s never heard it used in reference to someone’s dick. He receives another text before he can respond.

_Y am I hearing from u now? Been a minute. Not that I’m complaining._

Sasuke doesn’t want to answer that just yet and parries with his own question.

_Why can’t I see the ellipses to show that you’re typing?_

_Changed my privacy settings. Don’t need 2 hear constant bitchin bout leaving peeps on read. Or judged 4 how long it takes me 2 type._

_You seem fast enough to me._

_Cuz u got 100% of my attention._

As much as he hates to admit, he’s kind of flattered by that, though he has no way to know if that’s a special feat of some kind or a random line Naruto uses. But if Naruto is a stereotypical dumb blond, then being easily distracted and not wholly engaged probably happens a lot.

His phone pings, and he startles out of his thoughts.

_Did I lose u?_

_No._

_Good. Then wut can I do 4 u?_

Sasuke hesitates but then sighs in disappointment at himself. He’s not a blushing virgin, for God’s sake, and he can talk to the stupidly attractive moron if he wants.

_About your offer…_

_Yeah? Taking me up on it?_

_More like, I want to clarify the terms._

_They r wutevr u want them 2 b._

Sasuke raises an eyebrow in interest. That is a very generous offer from someone who doesn’t know the first thing about him.

_So, if I want a hookup?_

_Then u got 1._

_And if I want more than one?_

_I am more than willing._

_And what if I want a date?_

Sasuke thinks that will give Naruto some pause, but the reply is just as instantaneous.

_Then it’s a date. With a happy ending._ 😉

Sasuke snorts – because he’s been known to bend over on the first date, and he’ll have no problem doing it for Naruto. And either Naruto is the same, or he’s just that eager for him. Another flattering thought, if he’s honest.

And what would the first option entail, he sends and wonders if ‘entail’ is too big a word for Naruto – because he’s working on absolutely zero about this guy except that he still dresses up for Halloween.

_The usual. Getting my big fat cock intimately acquainted with ur sassy mouth and tight ass._

Sasuke can only stare at the words on the screen. He should have known Naruto would be so direct – he’d been so at the salon. And yet it’s still surprising.

_R u imagining it, Sas? I’d fist my hand into that prissy hair and haul ur mouth to my dick. Then I’d test ur gag reflex. How sensitive is it? Do u even have 1? I’m gonna shove my dick so far down ur throat just to find out._

Sasuke chokes on his spit as he imagines just that, holding the moan in his throat at the thought of Naruto’s dick sliding over his tongue, the tip grazing the ridges of his palate, before forcing its way down the bend of his esophagus…

God, he wants that so _badly_. He feels his cock twitch in his sweatpants, well on its way to being hard.

_Then I’ll spin u round and press ur face against the wall. I can already hear ur moans. Cuz u like it a lil rough, don’t u, Sas? I can tell._

_And ur gonna stick ur ass out and beg for it, yeah? Jesus just thinking bout it has me hard af._

Sasuke can relate, and he gulps as he shifts, the material of his pants stretching and pressing against his erection. 

_Don’t really know how to go at it rn. Just shove it all in or feel the slow pull of ur ass as it goes in inch by inch. Both r so fucking good._

_Fuck it. I’ll do both. I know 1 time ain’t gonna b enough with u, Sas._

Sasuke is biting his lip now, trying not to make any noise as he pictures all that and lightly presses his hand over his cock. He lets his lip go, notices the shallowness of his breathing, and clears his throat as he pulls his hand away to send Naruto a message.

_So, that’s option 2, then? _

_Fuck no! If I get my hands on u for a nite, it’s goin down all nite. And shit yes! More than 1 nite is probs gonna happen._

Sasuke inhales deeply through his nose, trying to calm down. Fuck the consequences – he wants this. But he doesn’t want to seem too eager.

_And what about option 3?_

_Is that a real option?_

And Sasuke is a bit surprised at how quickly the response came and unsure what it means. Is Naruto in disbelief that it’s an option because he thinks it’s ridiculous or because he doesn’t think it’s something that interests Sasuke? Sasuke may not actively look for long-term relationships, but he’s not against them, as demonstrated by his previous attempts.

We’re just talking, he sends. _Humor me._

_Well, all that will def go down. But 2 start…_

_I’d hafta know a lil something bout u, Sas. Wut do u like 2 do? Would it be a movie? Mini-golf? Slam poetry?_

Sasuke lets an amused chuckle slip past his lips as he contemplates his answer. Naruto has a point. Nothing ruins a date faster for Sasuke than being forced to do something that doesn’t interest him.

_Then why don’t we start with option 1 and work our way up to option 3?_

_U got it, hot stuff. But not really my style 2 just meet up and fuck. Would just use a fuck app 4 that. Not a date, k, but pick the ice breaker. Drinks or dancing?_

Sasuke thinks about it for a minute. He’s not against dancing, but it’s not his favorite.

_Drinks. You pick the time and place._

_Fucking awesome, Sas. Really looking forward 2 it. Won’t b thinking bout anything else._

Same, he sends, because he won’t – doesn’t think he can because he’s still so hard right now, and he’s made up his mind to hop in the shower and jerk off to thoughts of what Naruto is going to do to him, and it’ll be all he can think about until he experiences the real thing.

This is either going to be the best or stupidest decision he’s ever made, but at least – hopefully – he’ll get a good fuck out of it.

TBC


End file.
